word of the day

thomas (tho`-mas)

n.

1. an angel sent from heaven in the form of a white-haired, blue-eyed kitty cat.

2. a carnivorous mammal who endures hours of being lugged around by ten year old girls playing dress up.

"just one more hour of playtime and i will be free to sleep and and nag rachael for lunch meat all i want," thought thomas dreamily as she let emma and her friends put knit hats and scarves all over her.

synonyms: tommy, doomy (a play off of tommy), tom cat, t-jiminator, jim, jim cat, and wom. the origins of these names go too far back and cannot be traced. it is reported that thomas responds to all of said names, even wom.

no jalepeno ranch

if there is one person that is really getting on my nerves during finals week...it's the guy at the quesadilla stand in the cafeteria. the one who told me they were out of jalepeno ranch. do not tell me that this week. and then when the other guy asked me if i wanted pico de gallo and i said yes, the one guy said "we're out of that too. sorry...i was hungry!" hungry? you were hungry? i'm hungry! and i'm a paying customer! and you don't eat pico de gallo if you're hungry!

ok. that's all. i'm going to study chemistry. satan's pastime. either/or.

the pursuit of happiness

i would like to make a public announcement:

i am switching my major. (well, dropping it really.)

i am going into taxidermy.

let me tell you how i decided that: every day when morgan and i walk out of chemistry, we pass some professor's office who has posing, taxidermed animals up the wazoo. we have the exact same conversation everyday.

"let's go into taxidermy. i don't want to take any more chemistry classes."

"ok."

"we have this conversation every day."

"i know."

we even looked up the "12 easy steps to getting a taxidermy license!"

so. i will not show up for my finals, i will drop out of school, (and by doing so, spite everyone in the medical field who is inevitably crying because i will not be gracing their presence), and i will pursue that little piece of paper that lets me stuff animals with cotton.

angels and devils on my shoulders

sometimes i just get sick of college life. especially right now, when things are just stressful and not fun and i realize "i do not get a break from this." i know that life is not supposed to be just fun. sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. traveling is fun. studying for finals is not fun. and that's ok. but right now is not one of those fun times because i do have finals, i am drowning in homework, i don't know how i'm going to get it all done, and then when i do, there are more problems to worry about. like hounding managers to see if they read my application and will maybe possibly kindly have some mercy on me and give me a job? and making other really big decisions in my life that only affect me. those are the worst decisions to make. there is always something to worry about. always something lingering in the back of my mind. and i don't get a break from it! i know, welcome to life, rachael!

sometimes i imagine god laughing at me, blindly stumbling around this maze called life. in the dark. with no end in sight. with venomous demon snakes biting at my heels. and little angels with halos and devils with red suits and fiery pitchforks on my shoulders saying "go this way!" "no, this way!" i'm sure god's thinking "you're doing ok, kid," but that doesn't mean the venomous snakes don't bite and the angels and devils don't annoy the heck out of me. i wish i could smash them into little squash marks on my shirt.

it's ok. i'll get my finals done. i'll get a job at one of the places i applied and if not, i'll keep applying. i'll keep praying and get answers to my big decisions. sometime soon i'll feel reassured about my direction. that thought at least gives me peace.