How To Throw Away $100

1) Paint your fingernails in bed. Choose the color black.

2) Put the bottle of nail polish on your nightstand when you're done.

3) 30 minutes later, wave your hand haphazardly around (you may be watching an intense TV scene or having a conversation with your husband) and knock the bottle of black nail polish on the beige carpet.

4) Gasp when the bottle breaks and leaks on the carpet--not because you know your mark of stupidity will forever be engrained in the wall-to-wall carpet in your rental, but because that was your favorite nail polish.

5) Scrub furiously with a cloth and slosh copious amounts of rubbing alcohol that the internet itself told you to do.

6) When your husband tells you to be more careful next time, snap at him that his comment was not helpful. Duly, when your husband tells you that you're supposed to blot, not rub, snap at him that you're past the point of blotting when the entire bottle has seeped into the floor.

7) Accept defeat that you will have to have the carpets cleaned.

Alternatively, you could literally THROW the money away and save a really good bottle of polish.

Confession Time

1) Last week, I brought slacks to change into at work after class and while I was trying to pry off my skinny jeans in a bathroom stall on campus, my slacks fell in the toilet. I can assure you only the best thoughts floated through my head as I was already in a hunger-induced bad mood. Since hungry people are not known for making wise decisions, my only solution was to dry them off with the hand dryer and wear them to the office. Yep, that happened.

2) I am having a hard time getting in the spirit of blog-writing since I haven't done it in so long. Not that anyone cares or that there are any rules, but still, I don't know what to write. I keep saying this, but I need a creative outlet, so I am back...again. Maybe I'll get better at this...again.

3) I ate seven dunford donuts in three days. Those things are so heavy, they're like bricks, so I'm a little disgusted with myself. Now if they were Krispy Kremes, I could probably eat a dozen in like, two hours.

4) I had an ovarian cyst rupture last week (I wouldn't recommend it), so I was legit high on lortab the next day in biochem lab.

5) I am married. Weird, huh? I haven't posted on this blog since I've been married, but I'd like to change that. Duh. My husband is the sweetest. Maybe I will post some of our adventures on here. Like three-day long Parenthood marathons on Netflix. The parenthood thing was my confession, not being married. That one is just a cold, hard fact.

Alright....well, I think that was as good of a way to segway back into blogging as anything else.
Rachael OUT.