i DON'T get by with a little help from suzanne collins

*spoiler alert*

warning: DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU HAVEN'T READ "MOCKINGJAY" YET!

(don't say i didn't warn you....)

ok, i don't even know where to start with this book. i jumped on the hunger games bandwagon pretty late, but i've still had a good six months to get excited for mockingjay, formulate theories, created opinions on certain people, etc. well, ok, i guess it's not surprising that my expectations exceeded the reality of the book. (i ALWAYS do that. how can i not have high expectations after the first and second?) and it's not that my theories weren't correct or anything, it's just the way suzanne collins went about the third book. i have so many thoughts on this, i can't even keep them straight. here's why i was really disappointed....

-first and foremost....the love triangle. it totally takes a backseat in the third book and if there is a book for the love triangle to take a backseat, it's NOT the last! i really wish kat would have ended up with gale, and i know that opinion is purely emotional instead of logical. (for the record, i understand that collins wrote everything the way she did on purpose and that it's supposed to be realistic instead of optimistic and fairy-tale rainbows la la la. i'll get to more of that later.) so i keep trying to come up with how she could have ended up with gale in these circumstances and i have to begrudgingly admit that it's more realistic for her to be with peeta. but really? the bomb? i am thoroughly convinced kat would have been with gale if the bomb had never been dropped. it was an easy way out of the love triangle. make it easy to pick without killing someone off. but even then, kat didn't pick. gale left and she just kind of ended up with peeta because he was there. i hoped she would have made a decision earlier on in the book, but by the second to last page, you're still wondering what is going on. one page, she's saying how she longs for gale and wonders if he's kissing other lips. the next page, in the VERY LAST paragraph, she decides she loves peeta. where did that come from? a little explanation, katniss? or should i say...suzanne? ARE YOU READING THIS, SUZANNE??? ARE YOU HEARING ME?! it was confusing and muddled. it was just a let down because for the whole two books before, you are wondering, hoping, praying, that she'll be with the one you want, which will be a profound part of the book and that you'll be able to see the fruits of her decision! but you don't get any of that. (well, the fruits of her decision is that peeta begs her to have childrem she never wanted to have for fifteen years until she finally gives in. and they live a miserable life together {so it is implied.}) it really isn't a big part of the book at all. which is a let down mainly because you were lead to believe otherwise. and can we get to the heart of the problem? the heart of why i am so sad? because kat and gale's departure is so unceremonious and anti-climactic that i didn't realize it was their last meeting until the book was over. wait, what? gale? her best friend in the entire world? her other half since they were young and scared and fatherless? the one she went hunting with and grew up with and told all her secrets to? the one who she declared in catching fire belongs to her and she to him and it can't be any other way? the one she got teary-eyed over when she thought he was going to die? (did you notice her only thoughts about killing peeta was that he was a burden? ok, ok, so he wasn't really himself, but still...) he goes off to some glamorous job in district two, which i cannot picture because he is not a glamorous boy, but a simple hunter. and they never see each other again. peeta=miserable life with children in district twelve that makes me so depressed i can't even stand it. gale=the man with whom she shares a fire, and with whom i imagined helping build panem together into a place that he is passionate about and that she doesn't have to see anyone innocent die. but no. they just kind of....meander out of each other's lives without you even realizing it. gale is such a freaking warrior that i don't doubt he's out there re-building panem (his passion makes me woozy) and typically being a champion.

-none of the deaths serve a purpose. at all. whatsoever! prim was the reason kat entered the hunger games and ends up dead anyway. they all died so unceremoniously. finnick! (not only did he leave annie alone, but crazy, too.) prim! boggs! they all die for no reason. which makes me mad, because i instantly blame lazy writing. cheap shockers. they get old.

-the end was totally....anti-climactic. (have you noticed that's my key word for the whole book?) the only thing kat really did that was impressive was shooting coin. she kind of just was walking through the streets, then a bomb blew up, she woke up, killed coin instead of snow, went back to sleep, woke up again, didn't even go to her own trial, went back to sleep, tried to kill herself....went back to distric 12, with nothing. NOTHING. i mean, is it too much to hope for some epic final battle? i personally imagined kat coming into herself and leading a heroic rebellion with gale. i guess war is not glamorous, though and that's the ENTIRE message of this book. no character development, no good plot, even. all you are left with is a bunch of sorry excuses for people and the thought "war is bad." which i get is what collins was trying to do. but...come on! not everyone is going to be happy, happy, happy, of course. but a little friendship? a little glimmer of hope? a little bit of mankind's redeeming qualities? life isn't always happy, can't we get a little relief in our favorite fictional books? not one person in this book is happy in the end! i just think that the first two books are uplifting and lead you on to believe that there will be hope and love and triumph in the end. but the third book says "no. there will be no hope and love and triumph. because that is how war is." i guess that's some peoples cup of tea...but not mine!

-there is no transcendence. i really was hoping (and expecting) that kat would come out of this LIFE CHANGING trial with a sense of self and as a stronger, deeper person. and that's really the only reason i was able to bear how SAD the whole book was. i kept thinking "it has to get worse before it gets better." but...it only got worse. whatever the opposite of transcendence is...happened. it spiraled downhill until everyone was left a shell of who they used to be. the summary of the end is: "i tried to kill myself. i sleep away my problems. my mom is gone, so greasy sae makes me soup. haymitch spends the rest of his life smashed past the point of pity. i wonder where gale is? who's he kissing? peeta finds me. we eventually get back together. we are sad. peeta forces me to have children. we are sad. life goes on. i guess. how sad." and what about panem? the whole book is about re-creating panem. so was it remade? i don't know, collins, you tell me.

-collins doesn't exactly make you want to be on anyone's side. you're not rooting for the capitol. you're not rooting for the rebels. you're not rooting for gale, who is portrayed as a heartless, cold killer, which i think is kind of contradictory to the past two books. you're not rooting for peeta, who is not the peeta we love, but crazy peeta. i feel like collins made out everyone to be the bad guy.

in suzanne collins defense and everyone else who disagrees with me: this is how it would end if it were real life. it's what people become from war. i just walked away from the book feeling really depressed and uninspired, which is a sad way to look at your last mental image of a good book.

basically, i thought it was a really great trilogy with a really bad ending. i'm trying to be at peace with it because i cannot stand to have bitter feelings toward the hunger games. hey, it's transcendence in progress.